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44 Sec ago - ## We Live in Time: The Unfortunate History

The script for We Live in Time landed on my desk back in '18. A beautiful, poignant story about two people from vastly different worlds finding connection in the face of mortality. I wept. My agent wept. We saw Oscars. We saw Cannes. We saw dollars.

We attached Ben Whishaw immediately. Perfect. He embodied the quiet melancholy of Edward, the watchmaker obsessed with the past. Then came the hell of finding our Vivian. We needed someone with a raw, electric energy to play the free-spirited artist grappling with her future. Briefly, we had Saoirse Ronan, but scheduling conflicts with a Denis Villeneuve epic sunk that dream. Then Florence Pugh circled, but contract negotiations stalled over… kombucha riders? I still don't know.

Finally, after months, Anya Taylor-Joy agreed. Buzz was deafening. We had our dream team.

Pre-production was smooth. We secured a picturesque Cornish village for Edward's workshop and a vibrant, graffiti-splattered warehouse district in Berlin for Vivian’s studio. Costume design was breathtaking. The score, by a hotshot composer fresh off a superhero flick, promised to be emotionally devastating.

Then, the pandemic hit.

Filming was delayed. Insurance premiums skyrocketed. Berlin became inaccessible. Our Cornish location was commandeered by the National Trust to house rescued hedgehogs. Seriously.

We scrambled. Reshoots were scheduled in Dublin, standing in for both Cornwall and Berlin. The magic was gone. Ben, trapped in his method acting, insisted on speaking solely in archaic English. Anya, bless her heart, started dating a TikTok influencer who insisted on visiting the set with his entourage of vape-cloud-exhaling hype men. Focus was lost. The hotshot composer, stressed from back-to-back projects, delivered a score that sounded suspiciously like elevator music.

The budget ballooned. The studio panicked. Test screenings were disastrous. Audiences were confused by the jarring tonal shifts and unconvinced by the Dublin-as-everywhere aesthetic.

Reshoots were ordered. This time, we were confined to a soundstage in Burbank. The Cornish village was recreated with cardboard cutouts. Berlin became a backdrop projected onto a wrinkled sheet.

Ben, by this point, had grown a full Gandalf beard and refused to shave it. Anya, mid-existential crisis, dyed her hair bright green. The studio, in a last-ditch effort to salvage the project, insisted on inserting a CGI talking dog named Tick-Tock, voiced by Kevin Hart.

We Live in Time finally limped into theaters, a mangled Frankenstein's monster of a film. Critics savaged it. Audiences avoided it. It became a punchline. My reputation? Tarnished. My Oscar dreams? Deferred. Indefinitely.

Now, I direct commercials for cat food. And yes, there's a CGI talking dog. It's voiced by Kevin Hart. The irony is not lost on me.






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