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The year is 2005. Donald Trump, fresh off the moderate success of his reality show, "The Apprentice," decides to double down on his brand recognition and produce The Apprentice: Dark Knight Returns. The premise? Aspiring business moguls compete in Gotham City for the ultimate prize: becoming CEO of Wayne Enterprises, currently rudderless after Bruce Wayne’s “retirement.”

Trump, naturally, casts himself as Bruce Wayne. Not a grizzled, aged Batman, mind you, but a vibrant, deal-making Bruce Wayne who’s traded the cape and cowl for a power suit and an even more aggressively sprayed-on tan. Think "Batman Begins" Bruce Wayne, if he’d skipped the League of Shadows training and gone straight to building casinos.

The contestants, a motley crew of wannabe tycoons, are tasked with challenges like securing real estate in Crime Alley (negotiating with Penguin henchmen is a must), designing new Bat-gadgets (think a Bat-branded self-tanning booth), and maximizing profits for Wayne Enterprises’ subsidiaries (apparently, WayneTech also owns a chain of tanning salons called "Solar Wayne").

The show quickly descends into chaos. Trump, insistent on inserting himself into every scene, delivers awkward fight choreography against hired goons who are visibly trying not to laugh. The boardroom scenes, now held in the Batcave, are excruciating. Trump fires contestants with lines like, "You’re fired! Go back to Metropolis, you Lex Luthor wannabe!"

Meanwhile, the actual plot, involving a shadowy figure manipulating the contestants (revealed to be a surprisingly subdued Riddler played by Gilbert Gottfried), is completely lost amidst the Trumpian spectacle. The final challenge involves pitching a new business venture to a panel of “Gotham’s elite,” which includes a bored-looking Killer Croc and Two-Face, who keeps flipping a coin to decide whether or not to invest.

The show is panned by critics and fans alike. Comic book enthusiasts decry the butchering of their beloved characters, while the general public is baffled by the bizarre blend of reality TV and superhero lore. It's quickly pulled from the air after only three episodes, becoming a legendary example of disastrous franchise mismanagement and a permanent stain on the Batman legacy.

Years later, bootleg copies of The Apprentice: Dark Knight Returns circulate on the internet, becoming a source of morbid fascination and ironic enjoyment. The sight of Trump in a poorly fitting Batsuit awkwardly delivering lines like, "This is going to be HUGE, believe me, the best Bat-deal ever," becomes a meme, a constant reminder of the dark times when reality TV and superhero franchises collided in a spectacularly awful explosion of cringe.






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