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31 Sec ago - A Complete Unknown torrent download:

Okay, so like, picture this. It's 2015. I'm Brianna, head cheerleader, dating the quarterback and the lead guitarist of "Skull Crusher" (they totally know about each other, it's chill). My Insta is blowing up, and my life is basically a perfect rom-com montage set to Taylor Swift. Then, this total nobody, Tom Riddle – yeah, that Tom Riddle, the one everyone said disappeared after that weird thing with the ferret in fifth grade – shows up at our ten-year reunion.

Except, he's calling himself "Anthony." Like, Anthony? Honey, no. He's wearing this, like, ironic grandpa sweater and pretending to be all deep and mysterious. Newsflash, Riddle: nobody cares about your brooding poetry when Chad is benching 225 and writing me sonnets about my butt in iambic pentameter.

Anyway, this "Anthony" dude latches onto my BFF, Lisa, who’s going through a "finding herself" phase (read: dumping perfectly good boyfriends for guys who play the ukulele). He convinces her to ditch the reunion and go to this underground poetry slam, which is basically code for "awkward staring and lukewarm coffee." Lisa, bless her heart, thinks he's some kind of tortured genius. I’m like, "Girl, he tortured a hamster with a magnifying glass in third grade, get over it."

The movie makes a huge deal out of his "secret identity." Like, OMG, he’s Tom Riddle! Duh. Everyone in town remembers the ferret incident. And his emo phase. And the time he tried to convince everyone he was a vampire. This isn't Batman, Riddle, it's Middletown, Ohio.

Then there's this whole subplot about him having a "past life" or something. I'm pretty sure he just read too many YA novels. He starts saying cryptic stuff like, "I've lived many lives," and I'm just thinking, "Yeah, one as a dork and one as a slightly more pretentious dork."

The climax of the film? He gets into a philosophical debate with Mr. Henderson, the retired philosophy teacher who everyone knows grades papers based on how much you flatter his beard. It’s like watching paint dry. I literally checked my Snapchat like 50 times.

The ending? Lisa realizes Anthony/Tom is a total weirdo and comes crawling back to Chad, who’d written her a song called "Lisa's Legs." I mean, classic Chad. As for Riddle? Last I heard, he was selling handmade dreamcatchers at a farmer's market, still trying to convince everyone he’s not Tom Riddle. Spoiler alert: he totally is. And he still owes me five bucks from that time he bet me he could make Mrs. Crabtree’s wig levitate. Loser.






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