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2025-04-27 21:21:28

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## Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire - The Kong-Sized Koffee Kup Kaper

The roars echoing through Hollow Earth were deafening, even over the clatter of merchandise I was trying to organize. Giant plushies of Godzilla sporting tiny Hawaiian shirts (a surprisingly big seller), Kong action figures with detachable tiny airplanes, and – my personal masterpiece – the “Skull Island Sunrise” scented candle (notes of banana, volcanic ash, and a hint of terrified primate). Being the Head of Hollow Earth Souvenir Distribution was more stressful than you’d think.

Today was particularly chaotic. We’d just launched the new "Kong-Sized Koffee Kup," a novelty mug shaped like a giant gorilla skull, easily capable of holding a week's worth of caffeine. Problem was, Kong himself loved the darn things.

I watched in horror as Kong, bored with flinging fighter jets, plucked one of the jumbo mugs from a display table (crushing several Godzilla snow globes in the process) and filled it with a nearby waterfall. He took a gargantuan gulp, smacked his lips, and bellowed in satisfaction, a rumbling sound that dislodged a precarious stack of "I ❤️ Kong" t-shirts.

"Kong! No!" I yelled, waving my clipboard frantically. "That's merchandise! Not… a… thing you drink out of!" Like he understood a word I was saying. He just grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye, and grabbed another mug.

This was becoming a PR nightmare. And a logistical one. We were losing mugs faster than I could yell "Limited edition collectible!" I needed a solution, and fast.

That's when I saw it. A giant barrel of banana-flavored syrup we used for the Kong-shaped lollipops. An idea, gloriously absurd, sparked in my mind.

With the help of a few brave (or foolish) interns, we managed to tip the barrel into the waterfall Kong was using as his personal beverage dispenser. The water turned a lurid shade of yellow, and the aroma of artificial banana filled the air.

Kong took another swig from his Kong-Sized Koffee Kup, his face contorting in disgust. He spat out a mouthful of banana-infused water, the resulting spray showering a nearby group of tourists (thankfully wearing complimentary ponchos, another brilliant merchandising strategy).

He glared at the now-yellow waterfall, then at me, a look of betrayed confusion in his giant primate eyes. I gave him a sheepish shrug and held up a smaller, more appropriately sized Kong mug filled with regular water. He eyed it suspiciously, then cautiously took a sip. He grunted, a sound of grudging acceptance.

Crisis averted.

Later, while tallying the damages (two crushed snow globes, a dozen soaked t-shirts, one slightly traumatized intern), I couldn't help but smile. Selling souvenirs in Hollow Earth wasn't easy, but it certainly wasn't boring. And, hey, the incident generated some great buzz. "Kong Prefers Regular Water!" became the tagline for our next marketing campaign. Sales of Kong-Sized Koffee Kups actually increased. Go figure. Sometimes, even in the face of giant, city-smashing monsters, a little bit of monkey business is all you need.

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de unlocvasac1986

2025-04-27 21:21:28

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